Grief
by Rabbit Zoro
Summary: Spoilers for the end of the Remote Island Human Ranch.


**Pairing**: YuanxBotta  
**Rating**: PG-13, at least, for language here and there, especially at the end.  
**Spoilers** for the Remote Island Human Ranch. If you haven't finished this stage of the game, please don't read!_  
Tales of Symphonia_ and its characters are © Namco. This fic and Harrs are mine.

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Yuan sat down and placed his head in his hands as Lloyd and co. left his office. After a moment, he pressed a button on his desk.

"Harrs, we seem to have come into the ownership of a new Rheaird," he said, loud and clear. "Investigate its origins and report to me as soon as possible."

"Yes, Lord Yuan," came the reply, and the communicator continued to hum.

"...Yes, Harrs?"

"I-I'm sorry if it's too early for this, Lord Yuan, but I was wondering if I should have Lord Botta's things removed from his offices."

Yuan shot the communicator a look as if it had pissed on his friend's grave in front of him, but his tone showed no change.

"...Yes. Bring them to my office when you're through."

"Yes, Lord Yuan," and the communicator shut off.

The room was awash in silence for a long time before Yuan stirred again, sitting up straight and staring off into space, looking around without really registering that anything was there. This lasted only a few moments before Yuan closed his eyes and cursed himself. He had more important things to do than wallow.

It was several minutes until he really showed any real sign of mental activity again, looking down at his currently ringless hands. Another moment passed, and he stood and left. He returned several minutes later, disgruntled. He really hoped Lloyd and his group had good reasons for seemingly randomly being near Hima and the Fooji mountains while he was there.

His agitated pacing slowed, and finally stopped, replaced by agitated mild fidgeting. Finally, he sat back down at his desk and pressed the communicator's button again.

"Harrs, have you found any leads on the Rheaird?" he asked.

"No, Lord Yuan, but-" The man on the other end of the line became silent.

"Is something wrong?"

"Ah, no, Lord Yuan."

"...I notice that Botta's belongings are not in my office, Harrs. Is there a reason why they're not?"

"We're having problems with his office here, sir."

Yuan stared blankly at the communicator, then slowly placed his forehead onto his desk and began to laugh hard, but quietly.

"Lord- Lord Yuan? Is there a problem?" Harrs asked, several minutes later.

With an admirable display of willpower, Yuan calmed himself and sat up, shaking slightly with eyes wetter than they would normally be. "No. ...No, Harrs. Leave his office on Sylvarant alone, I'll take care of it."

"Yes, sir. Should I have Lord Botta's things from Tethe'alla sent to your office in Sylvarant, sir?"

"Yes."

A slight pause, then, "Do you need anything else, sir?"

"That will be all, Harrs."

"Yes, Lord Yuan." The communicator shut off again. Yuan stared at it, cursed once, then left quietly.

He arrived at Botta's former office shortly thereafter, and ordered the soldiers there to assist Harrs in his investigation. After they left, he looked around to make sure no one was around, then looked at the door to the office with a plain, blank expression.

"Banana," he said, remaining remarkably straight-faced as he walked through the now open door, which closed behind him. He retained his composure for a moment longer, then cursed loudly and kicked at the carpet before falling to his knees in helpless and slightly deranged laughter, thanking Maxwell for Botta's idea to make their offices soundproof.

"Botta, you stupid bastard. You're never allowed to come up with another password as long as you live."

A pause, then another curse, and Yuan picked himself up off of the floor, dusting himself off out of habit and being sincerely shocked when there was actually dust to be removed.

"You're not even gone for a day and the dust moves in," he said, quietly and profoundly. Shooting a glare at Botta's chair for the comment he would have liked to have made if he were there, he walked around nearer to his desk, then looked around some. Except for the slight amount of dust (likely dragged in by Yuan himself, he now realized, ashamed), one would suspect Botta had just stepped out for the moment to shout at the soldiers who enjoyed playing a form of baseball in his hallway when they had an odd fleeting moment of free time, much to Botta's distaste.

Yuan moved over to Botta's desk and sat in his chair, wondering if the soldiers would move their games to his hallway, now. Likely not. They would, however, likely make suggestions of other neat freaks in the Renegades' ranks to take over Botta's office, so that they could have someone new to bother. He decided that the first person who did would get their head shot off. The next one who tried was to be fried and fed to anyone else who suggested replacements.

To distract himself from his morbid thoughts, Yuan began looking through the contents of Botta's desk. Primarily it was full of work-related documents and books, as Yuan expected, though there were a few pictures he did not quite recall being taken, which he tucked neatly into his vest. When he finished with the drawers, it occured to him to look at what was _on_ the desk, and then he saw it. A small red envelope, as he and Yuan tended to use when sending written messages to each other, with his name on it. He watched it as if expecting it to attack him, or to disappear. When it did neither, he picked it up and examined it. It was unlike Botta to forget to have something sent to him. He wondered why he didn't for a second, then resisted the urge to stab himself in the face with something for being an idiot.

"I don't suppose you'll open if I say 'banana', will you?" he muttered, then opened the envelope and unfolded the letter it contained, and read it.

A few minutes later, he put the letter face-down on the desk and covered his own face with one hand, grimacing. Hardly looking at the paper, he refolded it and placed it back in its envelope, which he tucked away with the pictures, his arm acting as if it weighed as much as a world. He regained his composure slowly this time, then pressed the button on the communicator on Botta's desk.

"Harrs."

Yuan allowed the man time to recover from whatever his reaction to receiving a call from a dead man's office was, and Harrs eventually answered.

"Yes, Lord Yuan?"

"Have some empty boxes left by the door to Botta's Sylvarant office. I'll clear out his belongings later. Right now, I have other matters to attend to."

"Yes, sir. Also, sir, Lord Botta's Tethe'allan things have been brought to your office."

A pause. "'Belongings.'"

"Sir?"

Yuan sighed. "Nevermind. Thank you, Harrs. Now please see to it that I'm not disturbed for the rest of the day."

"Yes, sir. Will that be all?"

"Yes, Harrs."

"I'll get right to it then, sir."

The communicator hummed.

"...What is it now, Harrs?"

"...We'll miss him, too, sir." The communicator shut off. Yuan stared blearily at it.

"Good to know, Harrs," he said, and left Botta's office, not bothering to use the hallway. He appeared in his office again just as its door locked.

"Good man, that Harrs," he muttered lightly, eyeing the picture of Botta on his desk. "I guess I should thank you for suggesting him." The picture, of course, did not move. Yuan sighed and pulled out the pictures and envelope, putting the former in a secret compartment in his desk and keeping the latter out to fiddle with, which he did for a while. Eventually, though, he had the nagging suspicion that, were he there, Botta would be, well, nagging him to stop delaying the inevitable. So he did.

Yuan looked over the letter again, slumping in his chair with a sudden feeling of pressure and weight and age and loneliness and not having slept long enough in too damned long. He set the letter down on his desk, this time face-up, and stared at it for a while, then stood and walked away from his desk. He paced a while, looking over at his desk on occassion and looking away quickly. Finally, he returned to his desk and fumbled through the drawers until he found a roll of tape and tore a piece off, which he used to affix the letter to the wall. Not wanting to lose momentum, he sat down and wrote furiously and quickly, filling up several pieces of paper, which he all through away. After busting one of his pens in his haste, he threw it across the room and in frustration pulled out another and a blank sheet of paper, which he resisted the urge to just stab repeatedly.

Pulling himself down from his frenzy, Yuan looked over his shoulder at Botta's letter, looked back at his piece of paper, then finally calmly wrote what was probably the only real reply he could make to it, he decided. He then folded it neatly and placed it in an envelope, which he sealed and wrote Botta's name on. He stood up and picked it up, looking it over in his hands, then looked at Botta's letter and disappeared.

He reappeared outside of the entrance to the Remote Island Human Ranch that Botta had used and went a short way in before being confronted with water. He moved his foot around in it some and looked at his envelope. After a moment of deliberation, he took his pen, which he had forgotten to set down, and added the words "for" and "only" before and after Botta's name, then set the envelope in the water and watched it drown. He watched it for a while, then returned to his office and sat on the floor in front of the letter, which he looked up at as if it were Botta himself.

"I heart you, too, you illiterate fuck."

The End

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**Author's Note:** Just in case anyone's curious, here's the text of Botta's letter:

Dear Yuan,

Heart symbol

Botta

And the original, as-it-was-meant-to-be-seen (more or less) text can be found here: http: 


End file.
